How would you, as a parent, deal with a bully who is bothering your child?

This bully could be someone who is making it so miserable that your child might really dread going to school. How would you deal with it?How would you, as a parent, deal with a bully who is bothering your child?
My daughter explained to me one morning that she did not want to go to school because she, and some of her friends, were being bullied by a particular girl in the 3rd grade.





I spoke to the teacher when we got to school and she asked me if I wanted to speak to the bully myself. The teacher explained that she has dealt with this child on many occasions and maybe a parent influence would get through to the girl.





We talked quietly in the hall. I told the girl that it's not nice to be mean for no reason and deep down I know that she is a really nice person. She started to cry and I could tell she was feeling embarrassed and ashamed. We hugged and I took her back to class. Never had another problem.





BTW-I know this child's mother and she is a very nice person.How would you, as a parent, deal with a bully who is bothering your child?
the first thing i'd do is try to help my child come up with strategies they could use to solve the problem themselves, or with the support of friends. if it was fairly minor (teasing, etc.) i'd probably stop there. i do think it's important for kids to be able to stick up for themselves.





failing that (if the bullying was more serious and my child couldn't handle it even with some coaching), if i knew the bully's parents, i'd talk to them about it. otherwise (or if that didn't work), i'd contact the school. if that still didn't help, i'd raise a big fuss with the school (which these days, in the case of major bullying, really ought to do it; schools are paranoid about lawsuits). if that still didn't help, and the bullying was serious, i'd either go to the police (if it involved physical assaults or major threats), switch schools, or homeschool.
Everyone goes through bullying. And I think it's how the parents handle it that makes the child survive or not survive the bullying.





I went through it. I told my mom what was going on and she told me ';I'm sorry to hear that. But, girls will be girls..you just need to be more mature than them and ignore them.';





She was right. I think parents need to tell their kids the truth instead of coddling them. Tell your child that bullies are only mean because they don't have confidence in themselves. So instead, they try to knock others down to make themselves look better.





Going to the teacher or the parents of the bully isn't going to do any good. In fact, 99% of the time that just makes things worse. It tells the bully that your kid has to run to his parents to defend himself. Not that there's anything wrong with going to your parents for help, but to the bully that's just adding fuel to the fire. And teachers can't do anything. They will try, but they are powerless.





Teach your child to be strong and teach him the realities of life. God bless.
You can't hit the bully personally right? Although you feel like but that will spoil your reputation of you and your child.. So I will try consulting with the teacher if not the parents of the bully.





Edited- Okie since there is 3 bad point, then I'm not gonna say the traditional 'right' way of doing it but a 'solution' for me in the past. I get bullied before by a guy and then one day i PUNCH HIM UP and he never bullies me again.
There are so many things you can do. But first thing is that if this child is seriously verbally, emotionally or physically abusing your child you need to talk to the school immediately. If you child even thinks he is in danger, get help from the school! Have him move his classroom, or get alternate transportation if the bus is a dangerous situation. Safety comes first.





One thing I did when another child was harassing my son. Mind you this wasnt a serious case of bullying. And the bully wasnt a 'bad kid' just sort of a budding bully! I volunteered in the school (I had prior to my son being bullied) and made a special effort to get to know the bully and was extra kind to him and befriended him. I also made a special effort to make sure he saw me speaking to his mother. One time I made a point to speak to his mother when he could see me. I caught his gaze and smiled at him and winked.





My son told me after that that this boy had stopped bullying him and had even started to be friends with him.





My son also takes a martial art. I think the fact that he knows in his heart he could defend himself if he needed to gives him the confidence to not become a potential target to bullies. Even though he is a bit nerdy and goofy.





I know this isnt going to be practical for every situation. But I do wish you luck. It hurts to know your child is being harassed and is afraid.
I'd deal with the school teachers, counsellors, and principal. I would then be in contact with the bully's parents.
My son was being bullied, he was in the 3rd grade at the time. First I talked to the school and waited for about 2 weeks to see if it stopped. We even tried talking to the other kids parents and that was useless. When we tried everything we could I gave my son permission to knock the crap out of that kid the next time he layed a finger on my son. Well my son knocked the crap out of him and was suspended for three days but the kid leaves him alone now.
home schooling
Go to someone in authority at the school and maybe that person can schedule a conference between you and the bully's parents. Although, often times, the kid usually gets the hostility from the parents... good luck!
Bring this up to the school who I guarantee has a No Bullying Policy and make them tell you what they plan on doing about it.





Secondly, (and this is the hardest part), don't try to fight your kid's battles for him. Offer support (read as hugs and shoulders to cry on). Offer suggestions. But don't go to the other parent unless all else has failed.
My daughter was taking marital arts when she started being bullied, I talked with her martial arts instructors and they all gave permission for her to defend herself. Then I went to the school for intervention that never came. So I went back to the school and told them that my daughter was (at the time) a brown belt in Eagle Claw Kung Fu and while she has always been taught by her parents as well as instructors to walk away from a fight IF the bullying continued she WOULD defend herself and if she got into trouble I would be suing the school district.


Came that fateful day when the bully went after my daughter. My daughter grabbed her by the throat, shoved her against the lockers and told her ';Do not touch me ever again or you won't walk away when I'm done';...My daughter let her bully go and walked away. The bulling stopped.
call the school your child goes to and tell the principal about the probablem maybe then the bully and ur child will talk the problem out and then all will be fine
Have you ever watched the movie


The Hand that Rocks the Craddle ....
I have dealt with this with two of my children. I have handled it a couple of ways. First, if the child is in our neighborhood and I had easy access with him I confronted the bully myself. And maturely explained that if I heard one more complaint about him then I would speak to his parents and that if that didn't work then I would go to the authorities and the WOULD do something about it. The Second, was to to to the teacher, and then the principal and finally when things were not resolved to my satisfaction I took my son out of school with the promise that I would take this issue up at the next school board meeting if it were not resolved to my satisfaction. They managed to punish the bully and put in in in school suspension within a couple days. I have always told my children that they should not fight in school but, they don't have to be anyone's punching bag and that the good news is I would always be there to help them out as long as THEY were trying to keep things civil and mature.
I would ask my child to suck it up %26amp; deal with it. It is part of life. Your child should be able to stand up for him or herself. If he or she can't and you intervene it will probably make the bullying worse %26amp; open him or her up to even more bullies.





Maybe you can enroll your child in some confidence building activities like a sport, martial arts, debate, etc.





HTH
im a teen myself and i wanted it sorted by not doing anything. but now i know what to do. tell the person to hang around more with the tuff nuts or the pepople pepole are scred of in her/his class.
I would go to the school and talk to the teacher or principal and if that doesn't do anything, then I would talk to the mother of the child that was bullying my child. It's unacceptable for bullying!
I whole heartedly agree with Southernyeah's answer. Kids are so mean! If you go to the parents or teachers, this will only add fuel to the fire. Teachers can't watch the bullied child every second of the day. I remember when I was bullied I would try to stay by the teachers as much as possible....They aren't always around...(Lunch, recess, etc.) Educate your child about WHY bullies do this kind of stuff and what the best way to handle the situation in your eyes. Good luck and I wish you the best.