She is also prone to depression, is this likely to affect their relationship or her parenting skills?
Many thanks!Can a mother with a low average IQ parent an autistic child?
I think it should be fine.
having a low IQ won't affect her as a parent.
An Autistic child needs a lot of love and patience more than anything else.
The only concern is making sure that the depression is treated...that makes it hard for any parent ....Can a mother with a low average IQ parent an autistic child?
It won't be any harder to parent that child the day after his autism diagnosis than it was before! If she's been managing fine this far, she'll presumably continue to do so! I agree that iq isn't really the issue. She will need a lot of patience, which doesn't have much to do with IQ. She will probably need support -- as would any parent of an autistic child, regardless of iq. If her iq is so low that she has trouble understanding information from doctors, teaching aides, etc. (which I take not to be the case, since you said ';low average';), then she could use someone to go with her for appointments and make sure she understands that information. As for the depression, of course depression can significantly impact parenting. If her depression is being well managed by her doctor, though, and she has a support system to help out, then she and her son will be fine.
My experience is that parenting a child is difficult for two parents of healthy children!
If this woman is by herself, low IQ or no, she will need help if for no other reason than to get away from the pressure of childrearing.
Low average IQ by itself is less of an issue as learning curve. Depending how capable the mother is, it will simply take her longer to learn the techniques she will need to cope, it does not mean she can't learn. She will likely make a few mistakes more often, but assuming she is capable of parenting at all, she should be able to cope.
As long as she is willing to make the effort, her child will still recognize her as a souce of love and comfort.
Afterall, there are plenty of parents who are not themselves disabled except that they are too self interested to make a decent go of parenting.
You sound like a friend, just keep an eye on her and offer non-judgmental advice from time to time, but allow her to learn by trial and error.
She should have her depression treated, whether by perscription, but also diet and even things like home cleanliness and room lighting can make a difference for her emotional well being.
Even highly intelligent people have trouble parenting an autistic child. It's approach, assistance and attention that is the most important and she probably has that. She may need help finding the proper assistance to help the child. It's unfortunate that the diagnosis took so long, but she can start now. Being prone to depression means that she may need help from a fallback when it's bad.
#1, the fact that your child is autistic has NOTHING to do w/ your IQ!! I don't know where you got that, but I hope you're not blaming yourself. Brilliant parents are just as likely to have an autistic child.
She may want to look into counseling to help her cope w/ this difficulty. Depression hurts everyone around you, and for me, counseling, w/ the right person, changed my life.
Autistic or not, YES depression affects your parenting as well as your life in general, so get some help, whatever works for you. Depression is serious, it's not something you just ';get over'; don't be afraid to seek help.
She needs to get treatment for the depression and get to the bottom of that. As far as IQ scores, they mean virtually nothing.
At any rate, common sense and love go much farther than a Ph. D. when it comes to rearing children. You can be a genius and a fool at the same time you know.
With a little time, I'm sure your ';parenting IQ'; will prove to be just fine. You will become an expert on your own child just from all the time you spend with him. The depression should definitly be talked about with spouse or close family members, for support, as well as help from a doctor. Depression can increase due to the pressures of parenting, so get the help right away.
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